Right After A Break Up The Void Left Behind Is Actually Bigger & More Painful For Guys...
A while back when I was interviewing men during the first few days and weeks right after their break up I noticed something...
I think it is one of the biggest weaknesses guys have when it comes to dealing with something as painful as breaking up with a girl that you still love.
At first it seemed trivial...
But now I see how important it really was.
Men, in general, have less close ties to their family and friends than women do.
As guys, apparently, on average we aren't naturally as social as women.
Women, when a relationship is ending, often instinctively seek the company and support of everyone in their social circle. Women, as a general rule of thumb are far less weird about showing weakness or asking for help from others.
When going through a breakup women usually have a bigger group of confidents and friends to fall back on, helping to ease the pain of loneliness.
As for us guys... Not so much.
Yeah, I know, surprising to me too.
On top of that, many guys will withdraw. They actually do the opposite of what most women do.
Instead of consciously seeking out ways to move on, they withdraw, distract and sometimes even isolate themselves...
For Guy Recovery After Breaking Up Takes Longer Because They Isolate Themselves...
A big part of surviving a break up is finding other people to fill the space your ex girlfriend left behind.
Of course, nothing is going to make you feel the same way that she did.
But often guys go the to extreme without knowing it and they don't anything at to try to fill in that space.
Conciously making an effort to be with with friends regularly and expand your circle of friends is huge part of moving on.
And I don't mean friends to sit around and listen to you rant for hours about how your ex is a b*&$! or how your life is meaningless without her.
The kind of friends you need the most in your life right now are the friends who, when you are hanging out with them, you don't even think about your ex girlfriend. Or at the very least its hard for you to keep thinking about her. For a while you get be reminded that is other stuff going on outside of your own head... And outside of what happened between you and your ex.
Often Don't Even Think To Compensate For The Space Left Behind By The Relationship Break Up...
And they allow the loneliness to build up. Guys who often feel lonely, first of all don't know that they are lonely, they just feel this slow burning edginess and pain in the back ground.
Feeling lonely doesn't just feel bad though. It actually changes the way that we look at the world and at the people around us.
In recent studies they have show that people who feel lonely on a chronic basis are often more afraid of social situations, are less trustful of other people, are more negative and have less self control.
Guys become more mistrustful and more negative because they are lonely...
This becomes a feedback loop as well. Relief from loneliness requires being around other people and developing close connections, though ironically if we are lonely, this becomes harder to do.
Getting Over Your Ex Girlfriend Is The First Step To Building A Fun Social Life To Replace Her
The problem is that the pain and heartbreak after breaking up can real sap your energy...
Everything that is going on inside you can drain your energy, kill your motivation and make it hard to really care about having a social life.
Its ironic that right after the relationship ends that is usually when it is the hardest to do what it takes to actually get over her and move on.
In the Over Her Overnight Audio series I list several easy and quick techniques to help you get back in the game and distract yourself in healthy and fun ways by building a new social circle.
And a few tricks that show you how to automatically ramp up your social life so that before you know it you dont even have time to think about your ex girlfriend.
You can check them out here.